Growing Your Capacity to Love

Growing Your Capacity to Love
By Greg Baker

We’re all born with the capacity to love. After all, we are born in God’s image. For some, that capacity is limited only to self, which usually makes it difficult to love others. In a nut shell, our capacity to love is dependent upon our ability to absorb, accept, and deal with being hurt by someone else.

Loving someone isn’t the euphoria and paradise that so much of our main stream philosophy tends to portray. In fact, the more love you give someone the greater the chances will be that they’ll hurt you. It doesn’t mean that they will do so intentionally, but either way, their ability to hurt you emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually increase proportionally to the degree of love you show them.

If you truly love someone, you make sacrifices for them. You open yourself up to them and tie parts of yourself to them emotionally and spiritually. This is a big deal. Getting cussed out by a stranger doesn’t hurt near as much as being cussed out by someone you really love.

So, if you love, then you’re going to get hurt. This isn’t something to be afraid of, nor is it something that you should ignore. It is just a fact of life. I would rather love and be hurt than never to love and never to be hurt. Not loving someone does more damage to your spirit and emotions than being hurt by someone you do love.

The benefits of loving people can far out strip the down side of being hurt. If you have enough people that you are loving, you always have people to retreat to when another of them hurt you. But loving people gives you a much more positive outlook on life. It allows you to experience peace with your surroundings and circumstances. Yes, love people. It is so worth it.

HOW TO GROW YOUR CAPACITY TO LOVE

The more pain and emotional trauma you can absorb and deal with the greater your capacity to love others. It sounds like a rotten trade off, but it’s not. If you can’t handle being hurt, you’ll build walls between you and people. You’ll withdraw into yourself, carry a chip on your shoulder, and generally push people away. You won’t experience a close relationship, and it could lead you to begin to hate yourself.

I pastor a Church and I look to love every one that steps in the doors. This means that each of them, in their own way, has the ability to hurt me. I accept that. And, indeed, I’ve been hurt by many of them. But I strive not to take things so personally in life. I try to be a shock absorber. I don’t crack under the pain, I just absorb it and shunt it off.

You keep so many more relationships if you can do that. I can’t recall the times that I’ve managed to strengthen a relationship because I absorbed the pain inflicted on me by someone else. If husbands would learn to do this for their wives, they would have the position and ability to strengthen their marriage to such a strong degree. If wives could learn to do this for their husbands, they wouldn’t feel so alone and find they have a unique position to strengthen their marriage.

When you get hurt, you get defensive. You take a position and start lobbing verbal artillery shells at the object of perceived attack. Instead of absorbing the hurt and looking for a solution, injured people usually make the situation even worse. You start building walls that shuts out everyone.

TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS

1. Don’t take things so personally.

2. Don’t focus on your pain. Instead, focus on the other person and what might be done to fix the relationship. If you can repair the relationship, your pain will be relieved.

3. Think of yourself as a shock absorber. Look for the best in people instead of the worst.

4. Don’t quit because you get hurt. You only got hurt because you cared. That in itself is worth the price.

5. If you handle it right, you have the opportunity to strengthen the relationship.

6. Remember, you’ve probably hurt people too.

The larger your capacity to love, the greater your happiness can be. Oh, you’ll get hurt here and there, but dealing with it right will allow you to retain your joy.

Please visit our website at: http://www.fitlyspoken.org For more books and resources to build Christ honoring relationships, express yourself, and develop stronger communication and social skills.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS-MAKE A WEBSITE

Teaching Abstinence Works!

I know many of you heard the results of  the study of pre-teens who delayed the initiation of sex after an abstinence-only based program.  Hopefully, more studies like this will take place and continue to cause Washington to take notice. Let’s actively persuade our politicians that this type of education is needed and that it works.

Quick Response to Study of Abstinence Education

Senior Weight lifting Wonder!

Okay ladies, if this doesn’t motivate you I don’t know what will.  This video speaks for itself.  You’ve got to see this..

First Grade Teacher Cuts off Student’s Braid

When I initially saw the following story I was sure it had to be hoax.  After I did a little research I was able to view the original report from Milwaukee ABC affiliate WISN.  Needless to say I was appalled.  I have a seven year old daughter and I am sure that she would have been extremely upset about an incident like this.

I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that the child’s identity has been revealed but, the teacher’s identity has not.  The news outlet made it a point to outline that teacher stress has gone up, which implies that this child stressed the teacher out.  My concern as a parent would be that my child would be labeled.  Would subsequent teachers lack patience with my child because she “stressed” this other teacher out?  Additionally, does teacher stress justify this behavior?  The little girl told Milwaukee’s News12 that the teacher called her over to the desk, said that she was going to give her candy, then cut the braid and threw it in the trash while the entire class watched and laughed. Lamya went back to her desk in tears. She says that the teacher asked her, “‘Now what you gonna go home and say to your momma?,’” to which she sensibly replied, “‘That you cut off my hair,’” according to News12.

Although the local school district would not comment on the specifics of the case, an apology was given.

The News12 report says that the District Attorney has decided not to press charges, but police did issue a $175 fine for Disorderly Conduct.

So, what would you do if this happened to your child?

Catherine’s Abortion Experience: P4CM Ex-Series

Good Health God’s Way

Escape to Sisterhood II

Ladies call, text, email or Tweet your mother, sister, auntie and your best girlfriend.  It’s time for some rest, relaxation and most importantly information.  Pack your bags and prepare yourself for an exciting weekend in, Wrightsville Beach, N.C, to uplift and empower women of all ages.  Join the fun from Friday October 9, 2009 through Sunday October 11, 2009 for  Escape to Sisterhood II with lovely accomodations provided by Shell Island Resort.

Escape to Sisterhood is geared towards renewing the mind, body, and spirit within women. Oftentimes, women devote so much time to family, work, and friends, that they often neglect themselves. The organizers are devoted to making this weekend change those mindsets, as they venture to renew the “strength within us” through workshops, networking, fitness, and relaxation.

This great gathering will feature keynote speaker Evangelist Ericka D. Jackson, vendors and entertainment.  For more information call 910-473-0239, visit Escape2Sisterhood.com or check out the links below:

Escape to Sisterhood II

2009 Escape to Sisterhood participant package

Godly Girls Invest in a Good Girdle

Godly Girls Invest in a Good Girdle
By Valerie Ralston

How many times have you read Proverbs 31 and wondered, “How can I possibly be this woman?” Well I have good news for you! The Bible is like a mirror, as you look into it, and start appropriating what it is reflecting back to you, you begin to resemble more and more what the Word says you are! In light of this, I want to share with you one of the “reflections” God has shown me.

Proverbs 31:17 (Amplified Bible) says, “She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.”

While reading Proverbs 31 countless times, I continually found myself feeling like this verse was a speed-bump. I would be reading along, but would come to verse 17 and feel like God was trying to get me to slow down and hang out on this verse for a while. The word “girds” captivated me and I knew the Holy Spirit wanted to reveal something to me. The word gird means: to enclose, to surround, to equip, to clothe. It’s where we get the word girdle. It means to invest, which is to furnish w/power, privilege & authority! Honey, when you get your girdle on, you are furnishing or clothing yourself with God’s power, privilege and authority!!!

As I read this verse, God directed me to something I had not paid much attention to before. It says, “She girds herself.” So who does the girding? The godly woman that is being described. You see, it’s my job to gird myself! It’s not someone else’s job to gird me! It’s not my pastor’s job to gird me! And guess what?! It’s not even God’s job to gird me! It’s my job! Have you ever tried to put on a girdle? Let me tell you it takes some effort! Now imagine trying to put it on one of your sisters! I don’t think so! You know, there are just some things you have to do for yourself! I love that God did not make us robots, obeying pre-programmed commands, but instead, as a loving Father calls us to a loving relationship based on us choosing Him.

In the Amplified Bible, the strength she girds herself with is described as 3-fold, it says “spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task”. She doesn’t neglect any of these areas because she understands that all 3 have a part in her fulfilling everything that God has for her.

Listen to this definition of gird: to prepare oneself for action. She prepares herself for action so she will be ready for God’s use!

She prepares physically she strengthens her body why? Well it’s not only so she can be looking and feeling good, although that is a benefit of physical fitness. No, her 1st reason for physical fitness is to be strong for her God-given task. You know it’s going to take some physical strength and stamina to fulfill God’s assignment for you.

She prepares mentally strengthening her mind. She understands learning doesn’t end with graduation! We should constantly be growing & learning as long as we have breath.

She prepares spiritually how? Here are 2 ways: first, getting God’s Word in you, and speaking that Word out; and second, developing a daily prayer time, praying in the spirit and in your understanding.

Girls, one of the best investments we will ever make is in a good girdle! Only you can make that investment, nobody else can do that for you. Let me encourage you that whatever the cost of investment of your time, your talent, your heart to your Creator will have eternal benefits for both you, and everyone God wants your life to touch. So come on girlfriend! Get your girdle on!

Valerie Ralston’s more than 16 years of ministry, teaching, & living out the principles established in God’s Word enable her to teach with passion, humor & conviction. Her message is straightforward, extremely real, & will inspire you to be the one of a kind original God intends for you to be.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS-MAKE A WEBSITE

Chris Brown asks for Forgiveness

Earlier today, triple threat entertainer, Chris Brown, spoke publicly apologizing to his fans for his “unacceptable behavior.”  In February of this year, the R&B sensation and his then girlfriend and fellow entertainer, Rihanna, were involved in a domestic dispute.  According to a search warrant in the case, Rihanna, 21, read a three-page text message from a woman on Brown’s phone, which led to an argument. Brown – who was charged with two felonies – allegedly tried to force his girlfriend out of the Lamborghini they were in, and hit her head against the passenger window.

Both parties remained silent about the incident and even reunited briefly.  Brown avoided doing time with a plea agreement.  Brown shared in the past that he had witnessed domestic violence first hand throughout his life.  He never expected to become “one of those people.” While Rihanna’s career has continued, Brown has kept a low profile. His music was yanked from many radio stations and records sales dropped tremendously.  Many people (including believers) have shared varying opinions on whether or not Brown should continue his career and questioned his responsibility as a role model.

Chris Brown, as well as other entertainers, are in a position to influence our culture in major ways.  Our culture and its idolatrous nature (like the children of Israel) likes to put people up only to be disappointed when they “fail” us.  Instead of looking to our Heavenly Father we exalt men and idealistic or utopian caste systems that give our flesh something to strive for.

Before we get the splinter out of Chris Brown’s eye we need to get the planks out of our eyes.  We may not be abusers but, we have some areas where we have allowed the enemy to get a foothold and we close our eyes to them.  This leads to stumbling blocks that we trip over and we cause others to trip over them as well.  Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. We all deserve God’s wrath, no matter what the sin but, 1 John 1:9 reads, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

In life, we often seek the approval, validation and forgiveness of our peers and never want to be ostracized. No one wants to be remembered for the negative or unflatterering behaviors that we exhibit.  We must remember that we should not define ourselves by man’s standards, but by God’s.   Matthew 6:14-15  Let’s pray that Mr. Brown has sought God’s forgiveness and receives the new life that is available to us all through Christ Jesus.

Just imagine what would happen if some of the most influential entertainers came to Christ.  How many of their fans would follow them?  Remember, love the person, hate the sin.

37 Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few; 38 Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest. Matt 9:37-38 (KJV)

PRAY FOR MORE WORKERS…

Documentary: The Laying on of Hands

Due to the alarming accounts of domestic violent acts on women every 15 seconds, First Family Films is attempting to expose an ongoing epidemic. The Laying on of Hands once viewed will prayerfully awaken “the spirit of Deborah” and empower women across this country to unite during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic violence happens inside and outside of the body of Christ.  Many use religion to justify controlling and oppressive behaviors.  This documentary is said to be an analysis of those unspoken rules that have existed with regards to “submissive wives”and much more.

Next Page »