You have got to be careful the people you allow to share your space in this life.  You must also be mindful of those who speak into your life, breathe your air, and share your space and even your bed.  Despite the feelings of your flesh we must realize that everything that may feel good is not good for you.  I once heard someone say that the devil knows your weaknesses, why would he waste time trying to tempt you with someone who is light and bright when it is milk chocolate that tickles your fancy.  If drugs are not your struggle it would be a waste to tempt you with that. The real temptation is the desire of your heart, your real weakness, or passion or pleasures.  They could be your desire for wealth, or prestige, or even something as simple as a desire for company.  Whatever your desire, it is your duty to be aware of yourself and those you allow to be close to you so that in your living of life you are not lost.

A successful undergraduate student pondered as to why she could not find a stable mate.  She dated guys that were in college and those that were working.  She went to all the parties and never found anyone who was really “into “her.  She never found that person who seemed to really care about her and her needs.  She wanted to have someone who inquired about her academics and her sorority work.  Someone she could share her ups and downs with.  There were many dates and many introductions, but nothing of value to her ever appeared.  Until one day she met a man who was gentle and kind and seemed to put her above all.

It was not too long before the young woman had fallen completely in love with him.  He was everything that she wanted.  They spent all of their free time together, before class, after class, on the weekends.  You rarely saw them alone.  As time went on, the students’ life began to change.  She didn’t have time for the sorority meetings, or girls’ night out or anything outside of their relationship.  Her life had become this man.  Whenever her friends would mention that they missed her or they wanted to see her, she made excuses.  When she spoke to her boyfriend about their concerns, that she needed some space, for some time for herself, he told her they were jealous.  The young woman did have moments of clarity, moments when she just wanted to be with her friends and do girl things.  Sometimes she did go out, but when she returned it was horrible.  There wasn’t anything physical- in the beginning.  It was just yelling, arguing and belittling.  It got to the point where the young woman didn’t even want to go out anymore, because it wasn’t worth the hassle when she returned.  Her world got smaller and smaller.  Any argument about anything got worse and worse.  The yelling turned into grabbing and the grabbing turned into pushing and the pushing led to bruises and busted lips.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into years, until one day the young woman looked at her life and couldn’t believe what she had become.  The once intelligent, outgoing, outspoken woman was now a small fraction of that person and she could barely find herself inside.  It was then, that she made her plan of escape on the journey to find her former self.  It wouldn’t be until years later that she could actually say that she was a victim of Domestic Violence.  That young woman was me.

Now I am older and wiser.  My relationship with God is real. I attribute my experiences and faith in Him to the strong woman that I am today.  I use my life as a testimony that God is still and has always been good.  His love for me is greater than I could ever imagine for myself and it is greater than any love anyone (man or woman) could ever have for me.

This Easter season is a constant reminder of what God whispered in my ear, while I was in the ER waiting for an x-ray.  I heard it as clear as the voice of the doctor in the room with me.  HE said “JESUS paid it ALL”.  That was it, just four words I had heard hundreds of times before, but this time it seemed to have a greater meaning.  Jesus paid it all.  Jesus paid it all.  You mean Jesus paid it all?  So I don’t have to be here?  I don’t have to allow myself to be abused verbally and physically.  I don’t have to endure my heart being crushed and crucified by the words of someone who wears the title of lover?  He paid it ALL?  Really?  So my debt is to Christ and no one else?  God are you sure?

I wish I could tell you that I jumped up out of that hospital and never went back, but that would be a lie.  I did go back.  But believe me when I tell you I was a new creature.  The same way the relationship morphed into the dysfunction that it was it took some time for me to untangle myself from all that I was tied to.  But it did happen.  I did escape what at times felt like a no win situation.  I did discover that God gives you what you need when you need it, and many of my friends whom I had shunned earlier were the same ones who embraced me with open arms and wiped my tears away.  God has helped me rebuild my life brick by brick, day by day.  It is only HIM who has fostered forgiveness in my heart and hope for my future.  My past doesn’t determine where I will go or with whom.  I have the power to determine who shares my space and so do you!

The survey revealed that 28 percent of the population—some 65 million adults—have not participated in any church activities or services in the past six months. As many churches try to attract this group to worship on Sunday, the study showed that the makeup of unchurched Americans may be surprising.

For example, 18 percent of unchurched Americans say they are born again, that they have “made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today” and that they will go to heaven only because they have accepted Him as their Savior. Two-thirds (68 percent) say God is the all-knowing, all-powerful creator of the universe. However, slightly more than one-third (35 percent) agree that the Bible is totally accurate in all its principles, and only 15 percent say their religious faith is very important in their life.

Demographically, among the unchurched, women outnumber men, baby boomers and older generations outnumber younger generations, and conservatives outnumber liberals.

Why does such a large group of people who believe in God avoid church? The Barna Group claims that a previous study may shed some light on the question. The study showed that 37 percent of non-churchgoing Americans avoid churches because of negative past experiences in churches or with church people. [barna.org, 4/12/10]

Hebrews 10:23-25 (NKJV)
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

Many people have become disillusioned with the current state of the “church.”  Often, the unchurched have an innocence that we life-long, card carrying members have lost.  They tend to recognize that the church should be a movement.  The early church gives us numerous examples of that fact.  They also recognize that the church is not a monument.  There is nothing wrong with being proud of the facility in which you worship, but many take it too far.  However, they miss the mark on the importance of assembling ourselves together.  Sure, they have a personal relationship with Jesus, but how is that relationship being cultivated?  The fact is that we need each other.  We should be encouraging one another, organizing ourselves in order to win souls for the kingdom and so much more.  How can we accomplish any of these goals if we are not on one accord?  And what example are we for the lost if after we have been given the privilege of drawing near to God, thanks to salvation through Jesus Christ, yet we fail to do so?

Failure to assemble ourselves also makes us easy targets.  I can not help but think of National Geographic when a lion is on the prowl.  Beautiful antelopes or gazelles suddenly sense danger and they communicate the need to rally together and flee.  Meanwhile, the lion is always on the lookout for the slowest, weakest or better still, the loner.  Our enemy works the same way.  He would love to get us by ourselves with no one to encourage us or pray us through our situations.

Many will argue that the assembly spoken of in scripture was much different from our Westernized assembly and they are correct.  However, once we choose to join a body we should be useful parts of that body. Whether you assemble in the basement of a house, a mega-church, tent or college dorm it is up to believers to encourage one another.   Let us not be of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved!

Abstinence is a Good Thing.

Christina Sizemore is a real life example of how abstinence can work and how it is a good thing. At the age of 14 through the prompting of her church, her youth group, her family, and a commitment through Teen Mania, Christina made a commitment to herself and to God to abstain from sex until marriage. She was able to keep this commitment through junior high, high school, college, and even through a marriage engagement that was called off.

Christina is now married to a wonderful man, who honored that commitment with her. She shares her testimony, “There are guys that have that same commitment, but just because you have that same commitment doesn’t mean it is easy.” She admits that being in a relationship with someone that has that same commitment helps, because it makes it easier in times when you are weak.

“There are times when it is not easy,” and just saying, “I won’t put myself in that position,” doesn’t always work. Christina suggests that having this commitment in your heart, prayer, and other things besides just ‘not putting yourself into the place’ is what she has used to help her through the abstinence years. She assures all, “Waiting is worth it.”

Abstinence can become a commitment even if you have had sex. One of Chris’ friend’s husbands told his wife, “Had I known you were going to be my wife, I would have waited for you.” The gift of sex is a wonderful gift to give your husband or wife. The idea that your future husband or wife is very special, sharing this specialness by waiting can help you when you are trying to abstain.

It is easy to say, “But we are getting married,” and try to justify premarital sex, but Christina explains her situation. “I was engaged to another man, I had a dress, I had a venue, we were going through marriage counseling when I called off the wedding. That happens to real people. I didn’t sleep with him and I am glad I didn’t because he was not my husband. It doesn’t matter if you are engaged or planning on getting married,” Chris states, “You are not married until you are married. My virginity is something that I am giving up to someone who does not deserve it, if they are not my husband.”
Christina’s mom, Bridgette Mongeon encouraged and expected the commitment from Christina. When she would tell others what her daughter was trying to do many, many people thought the idea was ludicrous. One person said that they believed they their son you should “try on the shoe.” “I was livid,” states Bridgette. “My daughter is not a shoe. She is an incredible, precious woman. It bothered me even more that this was a woman who was the mother of a boy my daughter was dating. What values had she instilled in her son?”

Boundaries can’t be pushed. Each time you let down one boundary you get closer to what you don’t want to do. And Chris says there were people she was accountable to, and people who were praying for them as a couple. “I’m not sure they were praying ‘don’t let them have sex,’ but I know people were praying for us.” Bridgette assures her daughter, “Yes, we were praying don’t let them have sex, sometimes when I knew you were alone, I would pray that you would feel uncomfortable, or I would pray one would be strong when the other was weak.” She also let her daughter’s betrothed know what her expectations were of him. “There was no mincing words, they knew what I expected of her, they were sure to know that I understood her commitment and that if the betrothed respected their relationship, and a future relationship, he would respect that commitment as well.”
As a couple there were times when one person would have to be strong when the other was tempted or weak. “That is why it is important to have someone who has made that same commitment,” states Christina. When you have someone who is just waiting because you are waiting, they figure maybe you have changed your mind, and then they don’t help you through your weakness.” Helping with your partners abstinence is a loving and honoring thing to do for one another, it demonstrates character. She does state, “There is an end to the wait. If you wait until after you are married, you can have all of the sex you want. It is worth the wait.”

But people don’t believe that she had not had sex. It is not a common thing and she had to try to convince some people who have asked.

Bridgette states, “We are numb to it, premarital sex is expected and it is accepted.” But she suggests that parents change their minds, gain some courage, and tell their children, “I expect you not to have sex.” Give them something to live up to. Be open about the topic of sex, let them talk about it and encourage open communication, but let them know what you expect of them.

Christina agrees that having parents that are open to talk about sex is imperative. “Don’t let it be an uncomfortable experience. Talk about the biology, your own experiences, and it is important for kids to know it is important to talk about it.” She also assures us that 14 was not too young to discuss such things. Some kids are having sex as young as in the 6th grade.

It is our biological nature to want to reproduce. It is almost unnatural for us to not have sex, and kids need to know that. But Bridgette suggests that dating couples should also discuss their feelings that go with abstinence. A man may feel like he is less of a man, if he does not pursue sex, a women may wake up one morning and feel like she is less desirable. There is a psychological assurance that must go along with abstinence. Communication will help to make it easier.

What if you are having sex in a relationship and decide that is not how you want the relationship to continue? Christina suggests accountability and if your partner is not willing to hear what your heart’s desire is for abstinence, perhaps you should think twice about staying with that person. They might just not be the one for you. The commitment has to be between the two of you with God. An individual commitment as well as one made together. Abstinence is not easy, but it is also not impossible, and it can make a relationship stronger. In Chris’ opinion, “It is so worth it.”
This is an excerpt of the Inspirations/Generations Podcast

“Abstinence A real Life Story A Good Thing” found at http://www.godsword.net/podcastbios.aspx More resources and information can be found on the podcast. Those wishing to insert the podcast link on their website for others to listen to can use this link- http://media.libsyn.com/media/creativeendeavors/INSPIRATIONS_0032_Generations-_Abstinence-_A_Real_Life_Story-_A_Good_Thing.mp3

Copyright 2009

Mongeon is a writer, sculptor, and speaker http://www.creativesculpture.com

Owner of the God’s Word Gift series http://www.godsword.net

Hosts a woman’s podcast with her mother and daughter http://www.godsword.net/podcastbios.aspx

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS-MAKE A WEBSITE

INTRODUCTION

Sexually oriented sins entail a special collection of sins which thrive on the sexual drive of the Christian. These sins are special because they thrive on the sexual passion (which is very strong and can get out of control), which God has placed in man to be shared in marriage. Most Christians find it very difficult to overcome sexually oriented sins. These include fornication, adultery, pornography, masturbation and other sexual perversions.

HOW TO OVERCOME THEM

Sexually oriented sins come about when one’s inherent sexual passion upon being triggered at the wrong time and for a wrong purpose goes ahead to commit the sexual sin. We can’t ask God to take the passion away because He placed it in us for us to share it with our spouse. The devil however tries to trigger this passion God has given us at the wrong time and for a sinful purpose. Due to the strength of this passion and the fact that it is in us, the Bible admonishes us to “flee fornication” (1Cor. 6:18). Hence the more time you spend pondering whether or not to do it the stronger the passion becomes, increasing the possibility for one to fall into the sexually oriented sin.

The only way to avoid sexually oriented sin is to flee. Fleeing entails an accelerated creation of a gap between the Christian and the opportunity to commit the sexual sin or the avoidance of situations that would cause a Christian to commit a sexually oriented sin. The battlefield for overcoming sexually oriented sin is the mind. The Bible says that “be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2). For example, one can physically ignore an initial temptation to fornicate with a man or woman, but a continual thought of the features of the man or woman or imagining a sexual encounter with the person, may cause the person to eventually fornicate with the man or woman he or she initially ignored. Hence it is important to have a pure mind always. One’s mind can make him or her fall easily into sexual sin when it is saturated with a lot of pornographic material.

Another powerful tool in overcoming sexually oriented sin is the Word of God (Bible). The devil can easily make a temptation to commit a sexually oriented sin look so unsinful. I wasn’t surprised at all when a lady Sunday school teacher asked me if it was a sin for her to have sex with someone she wasn’t married to. One wouldn’t think twice about such sexually oriented sins if he or she is firmly grounded in the Word of God. Remember that when the devil tempted Jesus, he tried to make those sinful acts look so unsinful by quoting the Bible; hence we should be firmly grounded in the Bible, as Christians.

Finally a useful tool in overcoming sexually oriented sin is prayer. God can cut down one’s temptations to fall into sexually oriented sins if he or she asks. The Bible says “and lead us not into temptation” (Mat. 6:13). The Bible also admonishes us to ask, and it shall be given unto us (Mat. 7:7). Hence if we ask God for the strength to overcome sexually oriented sins especially, when confronted with such a situation, God will be faithful, and He’ll grant us the strength to overcome it. I can testify to this so many times. MAY GOD GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO OVERCOME SEXUALLY ORIENTED SINS AMEN.

Anthony Osei Boateng is a Bible Study teacher at Living Hope Baptist Church in Ghana. He has written several Christian articles and helped in the preparation of Bible study materials for various Christian organisations. He is actively involved in e-evangelism. (e-mail: tonybd264@gmail.com)

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS-MAKE A WEBSITE