The church services were very different from Catholic Mass. Initially, I was embarrassed at the way, these people passionately and without reservation praised God. Scripture says, “The Lord inhabits the praises of His people.” It seemed to me, it could happen at the drop of a dime—very suddenly. I could not help but wonder, what would cause this? During the services, I began to hear a voice speaking directly to my heart, asking for me to let Him in. His voice was not overpowering, but a still quiet voice. I literally would have conversations with Him during the service. Jesus was asking me to open my heart to Him. I would close up, and give every excuse I could. On one particular service, He said, “Open your heart to Me.” I told Him that I was scared. I had tried to hard to be in control of every situation in my life, it was hard to give up the reigns.
Finally I closed my eyes and said, “Yes! Come into my heart.” The moment that I gave my heart to Him, the Spirit of God took over and with a pure heart—I offered Him my praise. I asked Jesus into my heart. There were some Holy Ghost filled warriors that encouraged me in my prayer and praise. Tears flowing, I asked forgiveness for every sin I had committed; I asked Him to save and sanctify me. I felt all the hurt, shame, anger, guilt leave me at ONCE. I felt free! I remember after the service, even the trees looked greener. I was so eager to tell everyone my good news. I did not know what being saved all involved, but I knew that through the blood of Jesus shed on Calvary and His resurrection—I was free! I could sleep at night, and look myself in the mirror.
God continued to bless me spiritually. I was hungry for more. Once again, my pastor began preaching on the importance of being saved, sanctified, and baptized and filled with God’s precious Holy Ghost. I knew that God had saved me, I knew that He had sanctified me, because the desires I once had were gone. There was no desire in me anymore to curse, lie, and manipulate. The intense desire for rap music and anything ungodly was gone from my life. As a matter of fact, if anyone used profane language around me—it was like someone punched me in the belly. I had an intense thirst for the things of God and a love for everyone!
I began to seek God to be baptized with the Holy Ghost. Through my pastor, I realized that I needed a keeper. I needed power from on high. I needed power to not only continue to live right, but also, power to do the will of God in my life. Jesus told His disciples before He ascended into heaven, “And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.” (Luke 24:49) As my pastor preached, I took God at His word and realized that I was going to be involved in a spiritual battle regardless of whether I wanted to or not. So I desired to be spiritually equipped with the Holy Ghost-and He is a promise. God is not slack regarding His promises. I was determined to ask, seek, and knock until I was blessed. God blessed me and baptized me with the Holy Ghost and fire—Praise God.
God has brought me thus far. He has restored my marriage and my finances. As we continue to raise our children up according to His Word, He continues to teach me how to be the best mother that I can be. God continues to give me peace in my everyday life—no matter what may come. God has healed my children, my husband, and me. There is so much that He has done and continues to do—I can not tell it all. I am like David as he prayed, “Who am I, O LORD God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 17 And as if this were not enough in your sight, O God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men, O LORD God.” 1 Chronicles 17:16-17 (NIV)
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